Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Option of Adoption From Many Perspectives

Several months back I read this beautiful ariticle in the Ensign and I cried. What a wonderful blessing adoption can be for all sides. I have only selected portions of each moving story from the article but I think they portray the feelings and the love of each individual perfectly. I have also felt that I should add an additional perspective of Adoptive Parents as I know of a wonderful couple (Calvin and Whitney pictured above) who are hoping to add a beautiful child to their family through the miracle of adoption. So read on.


Now here is a glimpse into the option of adoption from many perspectives:

Birth Mother
Giving birth to a beautiful little girl was miraculous. I loved holding her and rocking her. She was so beautiful, and I cried many times her first night on earth. I knew that the next day would bring heartache when it was time to say good-bye.

What made that pain bearable was knowing that placing her for adoption was right. It was the hardest—but most right—thing I have ever done. I signed the papers through sheets of tears and then leaned on family and friends for support.

Birth Father

Andrea and I considered marriage and keeping our baby. We considered not getting married and sharing custody of the baby. And we considered adoption, although it certainly wasn’t our first choice....The more real to us the baby became, the less our decision was about us and the more it was about our daughter. Andrea and I both acknowledged that many adoptive parents could provide our daughter with things that we couldn’t: a stable marriage, a permanent home, and a temple sealing. We wanted these things for our child, and before long, through LDS Family Services, we found a family we thought might be a good fit.

Grandparent

Of course, it was natural for my wife and me as grandparents to want to watch this grandchild grow up. But we knew that neither we as grandparents nor Katie as a single mother could give this child the love, time, and direction that he needed. This was not about us or our feelings. It was about what was best for the baby.

The day our grandson was born was a bittersweet one. What a beautiful baby! It would have been easy to change our minds—after all, children are raised by single mothers and grandparents all of the time. Surely we could do it too. But we knew the Lord’s will, and we knew that it was in this child’s best interest for the adoption to proceed. After spending two days with our daughter and grandson in the hospital, my wife and I watched with tears streaming down our faces as Katie handed her son to the caseworker. She exclaimed, “I can’t believe I just did that!” and ran back to her hospital room to cry. My wife later commented that she had never seen greater love than she did as she watched Katie that day. Adoption, she said, truly is about love.

Child
I knew I lived in heaven before I was born. I knew Heavenly Father gave agency to all. I knew redemption was possible for the people whose choices not only affected them but created a child as well. I knew Heavenly Father had a plan for me, and that His plan mercifully provides second chances for everyone involved in an adoption. I feel gratitude to the woman who carried me and made a decision that may have been unpopular with some. I imagine my birth mother as a pillar of strength, and I pray she has been blessed for her sacrifice and hope for the future for all of us.

Adoptive Parents - A few words from their letter to birth parents.



A bit about Calvin in Whitney’s words:
I fell in love with Cal from the very beginning. When I first met him it was his eyes, his sense of humor, and the way I felt so comfortable around him that first attracted me to him (they are high school sweethearts - seen at left). He is amazing in every sense of the word. Calvin loves the Savior and honors his Priesthood. He has an amazing testimony and lives his life quietly teaching others about the gospel by his example.

A bit about Whitney in Calvin’s words:
She loves to laugh and when she does, it makes everyone in the room want to laugh right along with her. She’s loyal, thoughtful, and full of charity. The second you meet her, you like her.

To us, family is everything. We have a strong testimony of the eternal nature of families. We feel it is vital that our children know that their Heavenly Father loves them, their parents love them, and their birth parents love them. We will teach our children each day of this love.

To learn more about this wonderful couple, hoping to adopt, click HERE.


If you are pregnant and want to learn more about your options, click HERE.

And in closing the wonderful scripture shared in the Proclamation, “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Again, what a blessing adoption is for all who are involved.

3 comments:

Cal and Whit - Hoping to Adopt said...

Thank you! Ash called and told me that you were doing this today and I have no words. You are so sweet. Thank you for including us in your beautiful explanation of perspectives and your insight on adoption, something we absolutely love and have testimonites about. I loved to re-read those quotes from the Ensigh article. I love your blog and I will be a regular visitor. Thank you again, more than I can say.

Ashlee said...

Oh Paige! Thank you again for doing this. Cal and Whit are going to be the best parents ever huh?!? It was so sweet of you to include them in this post. It's such an important subject and I'm so glad you chose to write about it. Thanks for spreading the word!

Amberlin Baxter said...

So great blogs you have! I do hope something great works out for them!