This week has been a typical week at our house, a week like many of stay at home mothers...trying to spend time with and raise my children, amidst the chaos of a messy and getting messier house, all the while getting little and even littlier amounts of sleep. This week has been normal other than my total break down on Monday night. :) My husband was gone to class and thus had been gone all day and I was at my wits end. Really, I was just a time bomb waiting to blow. I could go on and on about the reasons why I blew (some of which included pans banging in the kitchen and digging through the garbage can) but I'm sure many of you could make a list of your own and could relate quite perfectly (although your story might not end in a dramatic cry fest, or maybe it would. Please tell me it would, so I can convince myself I am not in need of some therapy). ;)
It was a dramatic evening to say the least and quite exhausting. I determined one, that I need more sleep and two, that my life needs more balance and then an email came from my Grandpa with this quote:
"Gradually, eternal principles can get lost within the labyrinth of 'good ideas.' “ This was one of the Savior's criticisms of the religious 'experts' of His day, whom He chastised for attending to the hundreds of minor details of the law while neglecting the weightier matters (see Matthew 23:23)."So how do we stay aligned with these weightier matters? Is there a constant compass that can help us prioritize our lives, thoughts, and actions?". . . The Savior revealed the way. When asked to name the greatest commandment, He did not hesitate. 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,' He said. 'This is the first and great commandment' (Matthew 22:37, 38). Coupled with the second great commandment—to love our neighbor as ourselves (see Matthew 22:39)—we have a compass that provides direction not only for our lives but also for the Lord's Church on both sides of the veil." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Love of God," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 21
I have determined that I have become trapped in the idea of attending to hundreds of minor details and am convinced that too often the weightier matters are getting set aside. My priorities are in need of a good check. Thinking on this I was directed to Luke chapter 10, which reads.
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: 42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
Just like Martha I have been careful and troubled about many things but not necessarily the needful things. It is time for a change. It is time I remember what will be my constant compass in keeping my priorities in check - 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,' It is time to choose the good part and spend the majority of my time attending to the weightier matters even if that means dishes are sometimes left in the sink and my family is happier and closer.
4 comments:
Just wanted you to know that I have ended as you in a cry fest many times but haven't made it to therapy!
Thanks for sharing it is a great feeling to be taught and change even if it is little at a time.
My kids are a bit older and to tell you the truth it gets better or at least they understand enough as to make helping out at home part of everyday life and my day has become easier.
I can't tell you how many times I've been in your position with my own "break downs". I totally understand!! You're not breaking down because you're crazy, you're braking down because you care.
A broken heart is not the sign of a broken person at all, it's the sign of a humble disciple of Christ. So I congratulate you. From all that you shared in this post it looks like you learned some wonderful lessons from your "break down". You're best will never be perfect but keep trying and the Lord's grace will cover all that you lack.
It sounds to me that your children have a wonderful mother who cares very much about them and is praying for strength and wisdom every day to improve as a mother... really that is quite rare and you are a treasure!!!!
Keep up the great work. Carbon becomes a diamond from intense, extreme pressure, heat and thousands of years!!
you are not alone! i have had many a 'breakdown' myself. i have actually done group therapy several times for RS activities and i LOVE it...it helps so much and to know i'm not alone. i think therapy is a wonderful thing...don't let the sound of it scare you. :)
What a WONDERFUL post!! It is one of those weeks for me - and I too have been trapped in the, "what more can I do to be more..... or ...... to fix this????" Thank you for directing me right back to where I need to be. You really are great!
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