Is Your Family Floating?

Paddle, paddle, kick, kick, sink, sink, HELP!!!. Learning to swim can be tough. Do your kids know how to swim? Most of us can answer yes to this question (unless your children are too young). Did they take a class or did you teach them? Either way they had to learn certain techniques somehow to keep their head above water. But even when they finally can venture out and do a little paddling and kicking solo we like to send them on their way with some added protection - wonderful cute little floaties. Not to mention we don't mind when there is a pair of eyes perched up above watching just in case their life guard expertise is in need.

Recently I was talking with a mom who has a struggling teen and her words struck me, "I'm just holding my breath and hoping that everything turns out okay."

Because this post was already in the works I immediately pictured her holding her breath under water trying to keep her son afloat and I realized that they were taking quite a risk. She can only hold her breath for so long and he doesn't have any floaties.

Have you given your kids oodles of floaties...

...spiritual floaties?

They need them. And maybe we as parents should grasp the paranoia of this Dad and plaster our kids with their protective floaties even though our children at times may roll their eyes at us. We can't afford to have their heads sink below the water because they can only hold their breath for so long and eventually will gasp in some of the worldly waters.


But why do some of us not give our kids the floaties and if we did initially why don’t we continually pump them up?

The scriptures give us three reasons:

1. We are at “ease in Zion” and think “All is well” (2 Nephi 28:24-25). We think things like, “We are doing just fine. We go to church. We’ve got the basic techniques down.”

2. We are confused by our worldly wisdom. How will doing the small and simple things even make a difference or make great things come to pass (Alma 37:6-7)? We think things like, “It won’t make a difference if we miss FHE this week or don’t hold family scripture study. Floaties are so small they barely do anything.”

3. We are simply slothful (lazy) or forgetful (Alma 37-41-42). We think things like, “I don’t want to get the kids up for scripture study. Let’s just watch TV instead of FHE. We forgot family prayer AGAIN. Where did I put those “floaties”? I don’t feel like putting them on right now.”

When we choose not to pump up or use our floaties our children begin to sink and we do not progress in our journey. Our families experience afflictions (Alma 37:42) because of our contentment, or our worldly wisdom, or our laziness.

But if we realize the risks in not putting the floaties on and listen to the counsel we’ve been given we can prepare our families so that our heads will not sink even remotely close to the worldly waters.

In General Conference Elder Andersen said, “In our world today, each child, each young man and young woman needs his or her own conversion to the truth. Each needs his or her own light, his or her own “steadfast and immovable” faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, independent of parents, youth leaders, and supportive friends.

Like Elder Andersen said, our children need to have their own foundation, their own testimonies, their own techniques but as they learn they will also need protective floaties and they will continually need air pumped into them to keep their heads high above the worldly waters that may drown them spiritually. They will need the extra protection that comes from doing the Small and Simple things. Because by doing small and simple things great things are brought to pass (Alma 37:6-7).

Here are four small and simple floaties that will buoy our families high above the potential drowning effects of worldly waters (and that promised buoyancy is indeed a great thing that will come to pass):

Family Prayer - President Gordon B. Hinckley: “I submit that a return to the old pattern of prayer, family prayer in the homes of the people, is one of the basic medications that would check the dread disease that is eroding the character of our society. We could not expect a miracle in a day, but in a generation we would have a miracle” (Ensign, Feb 1991, 2).

Scripture Study - President Ezra Taft Benson: “The Book of Mormon will change your life. It will fortify you against the evils of our day. It will bring spirituality into your life that no other book will. It will be the most important book you will read in preparation for a mission and for life. A young [person] who knows and loves the Book of Mormon, who has read it several times, who has an abiding testimony of its truthfulness, and who applies its teachings will be able to stand against the wiles of the devil and will be a mighty tool in the hands of the Lord” (Ensign, May 1986, 43).

Family Home Evening - President James E. Faust:“’Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellow men, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.’ This is as true today as it was almost 30 years ago. If we go forward with our family home evenings, our homes will be enriched, our wards and branches will grow and prosper, our lives will be purified, and the gates of hell will not prevail against us” (Ensign, Jun ‘03, 2–6).

Temple Attendance - President Boyd K. Packer: "No work is more of a protection to this church than temple work and the genealogical research which supports it. No work is more spiritually refining. No work we do gives us more power. No work requires a higher standard of righteousness. Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as a people” (The Holy Temple, 265).

Let us recognize the need for our children to have their own techniques, their own testimonies, but also let us recognize that to keep their testimonies strong and to protect them from the raging waters of the world we must give them spiritual floaties and continually pump them up. We must strive to do the “small and simple” things and if we do we are promised great things.

Close Call

Something fell out the dishwasher and as a natural reaction I quickly moved out of the way and then this is what I saw:



Yikes! Yeah, the floor could have been my foot, my bare foot. It was a close call, I'd say. I can't believe it actually fell so straight that it stuck right into our hard wood floor. I am sure glad that I had to just simply pluck the knife out of the floor ever so easily rather than the very possible alternative.

This experience got me thinking about the phrase "close call" and I decided to look up the definition. So I discovered in other words I had just experienced a "narrow escape" and another definition added a "narrow escape from danger". Yes this was a narrow escape from a dangerous situation. I was indeed grateful of the outcome.

And now after replaying the scenario in my head I can't help but think of a much more dangerous narrow escape we sometimes experience in life.

Do we sometimes play with fire? Do we sometimes toy with sin?

Or do we break the glass and run or simply swim away?

There truly is no need to experience a close call when it comes to sin. We can have a very wide escape if we never tip-toe close to the line. Let us stay away from Spiritual Close Calls, it is much better than the alternative! Don't you think?!?

Do You Know What Temptation Means?

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because he was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means–the only complete realist.” - C.S. Lewis

I have had this quote glued into my scriptures since Seminary and whenever I come across the page it is glued in I can't help but read it. I've always heard people say that "Utah Mormons" are sheltered. Well in some ways maybe Utah Mormons are because the temptations are in some ways less in Utah, but I love C.S. Lewis' thoughts that those who have been bad "have lived a sheltered life by a always giving in". So no matter if you are from Utah or from anywhere else, if you try to keep the commandments and you don't give into temptation then you become less sheltered and come to understand temptation much more deeply. It is those of us who fight against an army, walk against the wind, it is those of us who don't give in after 5 minutes of temptation, who truly know what temptation means. It is not where we live but how we live that helps us to become stronger and to know more about "badness" so we can continue to flee from it.

Because Christ lived a perfect life I don't think we always realize how much He understands of what we go through when it comes to being tempted. He was tempted constantly. I am sure Satan worked harder on Him then on anyone who has ever walked the face of the Earth. Just as C.S. Lewis so perfectly stated, "Christ...is..the only man who knows to the full what tempation means..."

I hope that we can always remember that Christ is there for us in all things and that He understands all things. Not only can the Savior help us once we have already sinned and fallen into temptation but he can so perfectly, sympathetically, and understandingly guide us when we are in the midst of temptation because He knows all to well what it is like to stand where we stand in times when Satan is near.

Too Good

A few weeks ago we had a great lesson in Relief Society from the manual titled, "Valiant in the Cause of Christ". The whole lesson was great but there was one line in particular that was read and discussed that stuck out to me. I'll share the line with you shortly, so read on.

Have you ever thought that there was such a thing as being too good? If you do not now, think back to the time when you were a teen...maybe you were the one who people thought was "too good" or maybe you looked at others and thought that the things they did were silly and that they were "too good". Or that they or you were a "Molly Mormon" or a "Peter Priesthood". I think that we all have been and thought in one or both of these perspectives at some point in our lives, whether now, when we were younger, or both.

"You Cannot Be Too Good."

The line that so profoundly struck me was this great declaration from the Prophet Joseph Smith, “You cannot be too good." The word 'too' means "to an excessive extent" or "more than should be". So basically he stated clearly that we can't be overly good. There comes no point when the good that we choose to do and the righteous choices we make become too much when kept in balance with the guidance of the Spirit.

Of course we can excessively engage in something that is good, for example, we could read our scriptures (a good thing) too much if it was taking us away from being good parents. (I don't think too many of us have that problem, but it is just an example :) So it is possible for us to over exert ourselves in one area causing us to neglect other important and good things.But with that said, I want to move away from the exceptions and focus more on the wonderful side of this statement - "You cannot be too good."

Commandments Can Be Made Personal

The Lord said, “And they shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with com­mandments not a few, and with revelations in their time—they that are faithful and diligent before me” (D&C 59:4, emphasis added).

The commandments that we have received from God are not few in number but we can dig deeper by seeking and then following the personal revelations that we each can receive. I believe that the Lord expects this of us as He said, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is Perfect” (Mat. 5:48)."

President Hartman Rector, Jr. Of the First Council of the Seventy said, "[Set] personal commandments... You should make up your own special and specific list of commandments. Such commandments would depend on your own past experience and your own particular weaknesses.

I love this idea of personal commandments. There are so many things within the Church that are left without specific and exact command. There are many things that are left to our own personal choosing and thus require us to set these "personal commandments" or boundaries for ourselves.

My Personal Story of a Personal Commandment

I hesitate to bring up this personal example but I feel it will better illustrate the blessing of seeking and following these personal promptings and setting commandments or guidelines for ourselves. I also think that it perfectly illustrates Satan's desire to make us think we are being "too good".

Now the reason I hesitate to share this story is because I don't want you to think that I think I am just great or too good but what I hope to convey is that personal commandments can uplift us and strengthen us especially in our own areas of weakness. I also want to convey that although we all know we have much to work on and are trying our best, Satan can squeeze his way in and try to make us feel that what we are choosing to do is "too good" or rather that we are going overboard and/or being silly.

So here is my story. Just after I graduated from High School my best friend and I set a goal for ourselves. We often sat in front of her house in my car and talked about all sorts of things from boys to spiritual matters. On this particular occasion we talked about movies. We talked specifically about PG-13 movies.

By the end of the conversation we both had resolved to not watch PG-13 movies anymore. There was more to it than just a simple conversation between two teenage girls, I felt the Spirit confirm to me that this is what I was to do. I have not watched a PG-13 movie since. This of course was a personal decision, not a commandment given directly or specifically from the Church. For me it was a matter of my own weaknesses, the feeling I had when I watched these movies, and lastly the realization that almost all, if not all, of these movies had at least that "one part" or that "one scene".

As I have followed this "personal prompting and commandment" I have received blessings, and of course some opposition. The blessings were of my weaknesses being made stronger, my sensitivity to violence, language, and sex greatly heightened, and an increased amount of self-control.

As our journey began with this new boundary it was difficult at times but not too hard because we were generally together and so we went through it together. After that Summer we both went our separate ways to college. At first it became a little tougher. I often had to warn dates of my decision and sometimes I was greeted with simply a surprised look and others a more direct questioning of my choice. At times I wondered by Satan's encouragement, if I was being silly or if I had gone overboard in my choice. But after more time passed it became easier to forgo watching these movies. It became more natural and if others were to find out about my choice there reactions began to not matter so much to me. There now have even been instances where the material displayed in PG movies becomes offensive or hard for me to watch. The making and keeping of this personal goal or commandment has been a great blessing in my life.

Testimony

I know that what Joseph Smith said is true. "[We] cannot be too good." We can always be better. We can set personal commandments for ourselves. We can make personal decisions with the guidance of the Spirit which will strengthen our weaknesses and help us become better, not too good, but better.

I know that Satan will try to convince us otherwise. He will try to make us uncomfortable. He will try to make us feel silly or even weird. But I know that as we follow the commandments of the Lord and as we listen to the promptings of the Spirit and make choices in our lives accordingly we will be strengthened, we will become more sensitive to the Spirit, and we will gain greater self-control in our lives. I know that as we do these things we will draw closer to reaching this commandment given from the Lord, "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is Perfect” (Mat. 5:48)." We will never be too good but we can become better as we strive to be more like our Father in Heaven and our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Pictures Courtesy of LDS.org

TV, Television, the Tube, Flat Screen?

Well, whatever you call it at your house, a TV is a TV. It is a box filled with images and sound some good and some bad...a few weeks ago on Modern Molly Mormon, Military Molly wrote a post about TV. It got me thinking...here is the bulk of my comment to her post with a few additions:

"It is so easy to get sucked into the tv. It is an easy and cheap (free if you don't have cable)babysitter. It is an easy and cheap way to sit back and relax. It is addicting. It is fun. It is an adult voice during the day of a stay-at-home mommy. It is definitely way too much a part of my life. Any kind of noise is way too much a part of my life.

Just today I realized that as soon as I jump in the car with my toddler the radio gets turned on and we don't talk. He sits in the back seat in silence and I sit in mine with a few words sung here and there. So as we were out and about running errands today I turned it off and we talked...you know in the way that a mommy and an almost two year old can. We pointed at things and noticed things along our way. He jabbered and jabbered.

As we kept driving I asked him a question, "Do you want to keep talking or do you want to listen to music?" Now my little boy loves music but he said, "Keep talking." So we continued on our radio-free adventure and enjoyed each other. It was a great teaching moment. Not from me as the parent to my son but from my toddler to his Mommy who needed to be taught.

Finally I wanted to share the quote that we have on top of our tv. It is a great reminder to only watch programs that are good influences so that we don't allow the bad or the temptations of the world to entertain us:

"If we entertain temptations, soon they begin entertaining us!"
~Elder Neal A. Maxwell

What a great challenge it would be to turn our tvs off and be more in the here and now rather than sucked into some fantasy world that is, more often than not, of the world."

Her post was great and the conversation that followed in the comments was great as well (If you would like to read her post, click on the link at the top of this post).

One of the quotes she shares in her post is so powerful and so I wanted to share it here:

“Again I say, leave it alone. Turn it off, walk away from it, burn it, erase it, destroy it. I know it is hard counsel we give when we say movies that are R-rated, and many with PG-13 ratings, are produced by satanic influences. Our standards should not be dictated by the rating system. I repeat, because of what they really represent, these types of movies, music, tapes, etc. serve the purposes of the author of all darkness.”
-Elder H. Burke Peterson

What a bold statement that a lot of the media out there is "produced by satanic influences" and "serve the purposes of the author of all darkness". It is scary to think that we often are allowing satan to be our entertainer. We are allowing him to keep us company, to make us laugh, and to fill our minds with his filth. We must be so careful to not allow the rating system to determine our standards but allow our conscience and our personal standards to do so.

In the For the Strength of Youth Pamphlet it outlines what our standard concerning media should be:

"Whatever you read, listen to, or look at has an effect on you. Therefore, choose only entertainment and media that uplift you...Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable."

What a perfect reminder of what our standard should be.

Here are a few other great talks about the effects and the influence of tv in our homes:

M. Russell Ballard, “The Effects of Television,” Ensign, May 1989, 78 - In this talk Elder Ballard shares alarming findings from research studies of the effects of watching more than two hours of tv a day and the significant changes that would take place if the time spent watching tv was less than two hours daily. It is very interesting and eye-opening.

Controlling the Media’s Influence in Your Home - This is a great article found in the Liahona that shares a list of questions you may want to ask yourselves and/or your children about your television habits.

I am as guilty or more so than most of you. So I challenge you and I to turn off our TVs and do something of greater worth and value. I challenge us to find more worthwhile things to fill our time with and to fill our children's time with. I also challenge us to notice the types of shows we are watching and determine if they truly are uplifting us or not.

Finally, I challenge us to change this stat within the walls of our homes:
"American children and adolescents spend 22 to 28 hours per week viewing television, more than any other activity except sleeping. By the age of 70 they will have spent 7 to 10 years of their lives watching TV."-- The Kaiser Family Foundation

Fighting the Evils of the World with Spiritual Weapons

Recently my husband and I got into a discussion about becoming complacent or feeling carnally secure. We thought of examples of this going on in the world all around us but most importantly we realized that sometimes more often than we might think it happens behind the walls of our own home.

As our conversation deepened we thought about the ways people try to combat temptation and worldly desires and we realized that often many of us try to fight off the negative influences in the world through using temporal means or knowledge rather than by using our spiritual weapons - weapons that we have been told will fight off Satan and his ability to tempt us and lull us away into carnal security. With this on my mind I came across this talk by President Monson. I will share some from his talk as well as a few additional quotes from others.

Constant Truths for Changing Times
President Thomas S. Monson

This talk was given while he was the

First Counselor in the First Presidency

The faith, the service, and the actions of our members are praiseworthy...However, lest we become complacent, may I quote from 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon: “At that day shall [the devil] … lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls.” 1


We cannot afford to be complacent. We live in perilous times; the signs are all around us. We are acutely aware of the negative influences in our society that stalk traditional families. At times television and movies portray worldly and immoral heroes and heroines and attempt to hold up as role models some actors and actresses whose lives are anything but exemplary. Why should we follow a blind guide? Radios blare forth much denigrating music with blatant lyrics, dangerous invitations, and descriptions of almost every type of evil imaginable.


We, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, must stand up to the dangers which surround us and our families. To aid us in this determination, I offer several suggestions (the first two are from President Monson):

1. Family Home Evening - We cannot afford to neglect this heaven-inspired program. It can bring spiritual growth to each member of the family, helping him or her to withstand the temptations which are everywhere.


2. Debt - Avoid the philosophy and excuse that yesterday’s luxuries have become today’s necessities. They aren’t necessities unless we ourselves make them such.


3. Family Prayer - President Hinckley -I submit that a return to the old pattern of prayer, family prayer in the homes of the people, is one of the basic medications that would check the dread disease that is eroding the character of our society. We could not expect a miracle in a day, but in a generation we would have a miracle.


4. Family Scripture Study - President Marion G. Romney - “I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness”.


5. Temple Attendance - President Hunter - Let us hasten to the temple as frequently as time and means and personal circumstances allow. Let us go not only for our kindred dead, but let us also go for the personal blessing of temple worship. President Benson - When you attend the temple and perform the ordinances that pertain to the house of the Lord, certain blessings will come to you: You will love your family with a deeper love than you have loved before. You will be endowed with power from on high as the Lord has promised.
   

We have been promised many great blessings if we use the simple and basic, but extremely important, spiritual weapons we have been counseled to use for our protection. All of these spiritual defenses will help us to fight off the temptations and careful lulling of Satan. All of these will help us to avoid complacency and remember that we have room to grow and we can become better.

Have we become too comfortable or content with where we are at? My challenge to us all is to check ourselves to see if you we could be doing better at having one of the spiritual weapons at hand.