Can You Help Me Discipline? A better way. A teaching way. A new way.

This is last night's post "Calling All Discipline Experts" with a new title.  I guess no one feels like an "expert". ;)  But I really would love some responses.  I feel like this was a powerful talk and a powerful realization when reading this specific line.  I am sure we could all benefit from each other's words.  Please Share!

I just re-read Elder Robbin's talk from Conference again. It was one of my favorites. I am excited because we get to discuss it in Relief Society this Sunday.  And it has given me much to think about.

I hadn't noticed this line when I'd read it before and boy did it shoot out to me this time:

"We will never have a greater opportunity to teach and show Christlike attributes to our children than in the way we discipline them."

Yikes!  I need to work on this.  Often I think I do exactly the opposite.  Sometimes I end up being the one in the wrong. I react too quickly, or too loudly, or just simply overreact. Not good. 

I loved some of the ideas that he gave in the talk about disciplining but I'd love to hear more.  What do you do to make sure you keep your cool in a heated moment?  What types of consequences do you use?  I want to cease the opportunity to teach Christlike attributes rather than give them examples of how NOT to act.  Let the ideas roll.

You "Saved" the Day

I've had a lot on my mind.  Change. Newness. New goals.  BECOMING something better.  Creating.  Desires.  Priorities. Time. 

I've determined it is time to Simplify and to Organize. Some things are going to slip away and some new things may take their places. 

I am one who gets overwhelmed, stressed, and anxious pretty easily and yet I tend to add things to my plate by my own choice.  Good things.  But there are better.

We just got back from a vacation and while we were traveling near a larger city my husband took a wrong turn and we ended up downtown with two tired children (it was bedtime) one of them crying.  I was grumpy, impatient, and frustrated (this was not the first time this has happened ;) I was getting after him and saying things like, "why didn't you just go the way we came?"  On and on.  Contention.  Then just as we were about to get back on the freeway in the right direction my son said, very enthusiastically, "It's okay Mom.  It's good.  We saw flags.  You saved the day!"  He felt the contention and in his 4 year old way brought a smile to my face. I didn't even see any flags but to him that drive, that wrong turn saved the day because of a few simple flags! And I was again reminded that I need to find joy in each moment and strive to be positive.  Later I found out that despite my pessimism and criticisim in that moment that little adventure that led us downtown was one of my husbands favorite moments from the trip.  He enjoys exploring new places.  But there I was and I couldn't see it.  I couldn't see that moment with my family with eyes of joy.

Then today I taught the lesson in Relief Society on families and again was reminded that I need to enjoy and take hold of each moment as a Mother not just get through each day but SAVE each moment and cherish it.  Not just go about my agenda but grasp those small moments in time that truly matter.

And then yet again I came across another reminder in this video. It is too perfect for all of the thoughts I have been having. I think the Lord is trying to teach me:



Let us all cherish the moments that matter most. Let us all try to "Save" and enjoy each day and recognize each moment for what it is. Let us all recognize the things that need to slip from our lives so that we might simplify and have our eyes opened to the joy that those little moments bring.

A Thank You to the Youth for Easing My Fears

So sometimes I look at what is going on in the world and I look at my two young children and I worry. I worry about the people they will choose to become.  I worry about the world seeping in too much.  I worry that I am not doing enough.  I worry about their futures.  I worry about what is happening here and now. I worry.

It IS a rough world with many temptations and many choices to be made and I think I will always be concerned (and in some ways I think I should be).  I want to be as conscious, consistent, and intentional about raising them as I can.  There are so many things to think about and to prepare them for.  The future (and sometimes even the present) truly can be overwhelming to think about and that is why I am so grateful for all of these wonderful videos put out by the Church.  They give me hope in the future and peace to know how strong so many of the youth truly are in this chaotic world.  I am grateful for their examples to children, youth, and adults alike. 

Thank you to the great youth for easing some of my fears.  You are Wonderful!!!











To view more Mormon Messages for Youth visit HERE.

Bee Changeful

Over the past few months we have dealt with many various difficult situations and behaviors with our children.  It has been a ride and it is, for the time being, slowing down a bit.  Whew! One day while thinking about what I could do to change the way things were going once again I actually had an idea that "worked"! 

My 4 year old son and I sat down at the computer and printed out a beehive, some bees, and various flowers and then for FHE we colored and colored and then later I cut and cut and when all was said and done we created this:

The idea originally stemmed from President Hinckley's B's but we put our own family twist on it so that it would encourage us to work on the things that our little family needs to work on right now.  Our "Bees" include:  Be Prayerful, Be Patient, Be Polite, Be Kind, Be Brave, Be Happy, Be Obedient and Be Clean. 

At FHE we talked about all of these things we were going to try to become and we set off to become better each and everyday.

Here is how it works:  We try to do things that will help us be more like the Bees we have chosen and make an effort to notice when we are doing them and at the end of the day we head to our chart for "Bee Time".  We even have a Bee Song that we sing each night before our bees start flying around on our chart.  And if you read THIS post from a while back this song will be familiar, it comes from a cheerleading chant from Saved By the Bell.  "B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B. B-B-B-B-B-B-B. It's Bee Time!" Repeated two times.  You gotta love it. 

After our ever so lovely song we notice what others in our little family did during the day to be more like one of the attributes we have selected.  For example, if we saw someone being really patient then the Patient Bee gets to fly to his next flower (each attribute has a certain color of flower and each flower is numbered).  When all of the bees have made it back to the hive we get to do something special as a family, because we are doing this TOGETHER.  We just received our first family reward last night when we went to Chuck E. Cheese (it took us a while to redeem it we are about to reach the end of another round).

As simple as it is, it has helped a ton.  When my son is doing something that doesn't match one of our bees, I will sometimes say, "Are you being like one of our bees?"  Or "what bee should you try to be like right now?"  Or sometimes I will be specific and say, "are you being kind?"  Occasionally I will simply make a buzzing sound at him as a little reminder.  Kind of silly but hey it works (some of the time :).

It has been amazing what an incentive it is to just simply get to move a bee or two each night.  Of course the family "prize" helps as well but it isn't an immediate reward.

So here we are buzzing along and Conference comes shortly after with this perfect gem from Elder Robbins "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?".  It was perfect.  It helped to pull all of my thoughts together and to expand and teach me so much more.

Those of you who have followed my blog for a while know that I love the word "BECOME" so our Bee Chart and this talk about Being were right up my alley.  Here are a few tidbits I pulled out of this great talk:

• To become as He is, we must also do the things He did: “Verily, verily, I say unto you, this is my gospel; and ye know the things that ye must do in my church; for the works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do” (3 Nephi 27:21; emphasis added).
• To be and to do are inseparable. As interdependent doctrines they reinforce and promote each other.
• While He recognized the importance of do, the Savior identified be as a “weightier matter.”
• Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why? To do’s are activities or events that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done. You can’t earn checkmarks with to be’s.
• Because be begets do and is the motive behind do, teaching be will improve behavior more effectively than focusing on do will improve behavior.

I hope that we can do more to become better and be more by doing better.

Oh and if you are still wondering what the title is about.  Ever since we have started doing all of this Bee Business my son has asked for help in his prayers by saying, "Help us to be prayerful.  Help us to be kindFUL."  Too Cute.  Let us all BE CHANGEFUL!

Family Fun Times: How Do You Do Things At Your House?

So a few weeks back I was perusing through Deseret Book and I came across this book (you can read additional ideas here). I didn't have the urge to buy it but did find it fun to read through a few of the ideas in the store.  I loved reading these great ideas that other families have implemented into their homes to help create stronger bonds, to have fun together, and to teach strong values.  Everyone has traditions, techniques, systems, and ideas for how they do things and I thought it would be fun for us to share some of them here.

Here are a few that the book includes:

THE BROTHER BANK
A Shared Reward Encourages Two Siblings to Get Along

"Whenever my husband or I "catch" one of our boys, Alex, age eight, or Grant, four, doing something nice for the other, such as helping to build a complicated toy, we reward the behavior by giving him a quarter to put in their joint brother bank. They can spend the money any way they want, such as on ice cream or a movie, so long as they agree on the treat. I've shared this idea with many of my friends, and they all tell me it's helped their kids act more kindly toward one another." -- Joni Gaynor, Anaheim Hills, California

SHARE THOUGHTS IN A TALKING CHAIR
Give Kids a Special Place to Express Themselves

"To encourage her children to open up about what's on their minds, Denise Vega of Englewood, Colorado, designated a comfy armchair in the living room as the Talking Chair. It's a place the kids can head to when they need some alone time with Mom or Dad. In the Talking Chair, Zachary, age eight, Jesse, six, and Rayanne, three, discuss whatever they want, with "no judging, no reprimands," says Denise, "just listening and, if necessary, talking to figure things out." The real key: all conversations are private, "with no one listening in."

MAGIC MOMMY DUST
Disperse Fears with a Quick Sprinkle

"In my house, Magic Mommy dust solves all kinds of problems. For instance, whenever one of my kids, Josh, age nine, or Claire, six, has trouble falling asleep at night and is afraid of something -- such as, monsters under the bed. I reach into my pocket for some invisible magic dust -- I sprinkle it around the room, under the bed, and on his or her face while saying, 'Magic Mommy Dust, work your magic!' It soothes their fears immediately. I've even put it in coat pockets before school when one of them has needed a little extra assurance. We all now believe in its power to make everyone feel safe and loved." -- Vicky DeCoster, Papillon, Nebraska

If you have any fun traditions or ideas that you implement in your homes to help create stronger bonds, to have fun together, and/or to teach strong values please share.

Intentionally Keeping Our Families Afloat

I was asked to speak this last Sunday about families. It was such a broad topic that I felt I had so many directions I could go but very quickly came thoughts that stemmed from a previous post that I wrote and a post that Stephanie at DiapersandDivinity wrote. So if you read either of those posts than you will recognize some similarities. The thoughts from both are intertwined and expounded upon.

I was only able to give a small portion of my talk (it was a mission farewell and time was lacking) and so I thought that I'd share my talk here for you all to read. Sorry for the lack of pictures and for the length but I hope you'll read on and enjoy!

First, take a look at this video and notice the paranoia of this Dad. 

Yes, he might seem quite paranoid and over the top but it is very apparent that he had very intentionally decked his kids out in these floaties to "keep them safe".

In contrast a several months back I was talking to a mom who is not currently active in the Church who has a teenage son who had been struggling.  She made this statement to me, "I'm just holding my breath and hoping that everything turns out okay."

Because I had already been thinking about these things I immediately pictured her holding her breath under water trying to keep her son afloat and I realized that they were taking quite a risk. She can only hold her breath for so long and he doesn't have any floaties.

Do we sometimes find our families in this situation? Do we find ourselves treading water or that we constantly need to jump in after a child to rescue them?  Or that we are holding our breath trying to keep them afloat?
Or have we equipped our families with plenty of floating devices so that we can swim right along side each other without too much concern?

On the Mormon.org family page it says, "A loving and happy (and I add a righteous) family doesn’t happen by accident."

Sister Beck adds her voice on this topic by saying, "We have the responsibility and the challenge from the prophet to believe deeply and actively in the family. We will need to do that in order to preserve our families. That means we have to be intentional about everything we do.

 I have come up with 10 Spiritual Floaties that We Must Intentionally Equip Our Families With to Buoy Them High Above the Worldy Waters That Surround Us

1 – Be There – Elder Hales said, "Several years ago I was reading the newspaper when one of my young grandsons snuggled up to me. As I read, I was delighted to hear his sweet voice chattering on in the background. Imagine my surprise when, a few moments later, he pushed himself between me and the paper. Taking my face in his hands and pressing his nose up to mine, he asked, “Grandpa! Are you in there?”

Mother, Father, are you in there? Grandpa, Grandma, are you there? Being there means understanding the hearts of our youth and connecting with them. And connecting with them means not just conversing with them but doing things with them too."

Do you have "newspaper" that you need to put aside to spend more time with your family?  Children and Youth, are you there?  We all need to make an intentional effort to be there with our families.

2 – Meal Time – Elder Hales said, "When we sit down at the dinner table, is our whole family there? I remember as a young man asking permission to play baseball through dinnertime. “Just put my meal in the oven,” I said to my mother. She responded, “Robert, I really want you to take a break, come home, be with the family for dinner, and then you can go out and play baseball until dark.” She taught all of us that where family meals are concerned, it’s not the food but the family interaction that nourishes the soul."

3 – Express Love – Elder Bednar said, "We simply should sincerely and frequently express love. Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you took your eternal companion in your arms and said, “I love you”? Parents, when was the last time you sincerely expressed love to your children? Children, when was the last time you told your parents that you love them?"

4 – Bear Testimony – Elder Bednar said, "Within the walls of our own homes, we can and should bear pure testimony. Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you bore testimony to your eternal companion? Parents, when was the last time you declared your witness to your children about the things you know to be true? And children, when was the last time you shared your testimony with your parents and family?"

5 – FHE - President Faust said, "Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellow men, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.’ If we go forward with our family home evenings, our homes will be enriched and the gates of hell will not prevail against us”

6 – Family Scripture Study – Marion G. Romney said,  "I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness. … "

7 – Family Prayer - President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “I submit that a return to the old pattern of prayer, family prayer in the homes of the people, is one of the basic medications that would check the dread disease that is eroding the character of our society. We could not expect a miracle in a day, but in a generation we would have a miracle” (Ensign, Feb 1991, 2).

8 – Church Attendance – President Benson said, "May I now direct your attention to the importance of attending all of your Church meetings. Faithful attendance at Church meetings brings blessings you can receive in no other way. Attend your sacrament meeting every Sunday. Listen carefully to the messages. Pray for the spirit of understanding and testimony."

9 – Temple Attendance - President Boyd K. Packer said, "No work is more of a protection to this church than temple work. No work is more spiritually refining. No work we do gives us more power. No work requires a higher standard of righteousness. Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as a people” (The Holy Temple, 265).

10 – Teach Values – If we want children who are respectful we must intentionally teach respect.  If we want children who are hard working we must teach them to work.  If we want children who are kind we must teach them to be kind.

If we don’t make an INTENTIONAL DECISION to do these things and then follow through with INTENTIONAL EFFORT then we may never equip our families with the necessary floaties, or we may initially give them the floaties but then fail to continually pump them up.

Satan Uses 4 Traps to Lure Us Into Wordly Waters Without Spiritual Floaties

1. We are at “ease in Zion” and think “All is well” (2 Nephi 28:24-25). We think things like, “We are doing just fine. We go to church. We’ve got the basic techniques down.”
2. We are confused by our worldly wisdom. How will doing the small and simple things even make a difference or make great things come to pass (Alma 37:6-7)? We think things like, “It won’t make a difference if we miss FHE this week or don’t hold family scripture study. Floaties are so small they barely do anything.”
3. We are simply slothful (lazy) or forgetful (Alma 37-41-42). We think things like, “I don’t want to get the kids up for scripture study. Let’s just watch TV instead of FHE. We forgot family prayer AGAIN. Where did I put those “floaties”? I don’t feel like putting them on right now.”
4. We meet opposition – President Hinckley said, "The family is under attack. All across the world families are falling apart." We may think things like, “They are so hard to keep pumped up.  Or our families floaties already have holes in them.”

Satan IS working to lure us out into the worldly waters without our floaties but if we are intentionally equipping our families with them are families will be buoyed high above the worldly waters that surround us and we will be able to swim along side each other and have a loving, happy, righteous, and safe family. But without an intentional decision followed by intentional action or effort then Satan may lure us into one of his traps.

 Sister Beck shares this wonderful story of her very intentional family that was definitely kept afloat:

"My mother was an older single and living and loving life. She was introduced to my father, who was a young bishop and a widower with three children. (They married soon after.) She had had a lot of great experiences. Now all of a sudden she was a mother to three beautiful children.

As she and Daddy were traveling along on their honeymoon, she wanted to talk about how they were going to proceed with this family. What are our goals? What is our family going to be like? How are we going to do things in our family? She started writing the answers and their goals, she said, on a paper sack. It was the only paper she had. As they were talking, they said, “What do we want for our children? Are our children going to be married in the temple? Yes, they are. Okay, if we want our children to be married in the temple, what kinds of things do we have to teach them in our home? Well, we will have to have scripture study.” So they wrote that down.“How about family prayer?” Daddy said. “We already have family prayer. That is our habit.” “How about going to church?” Going to church every week was on the list. They wrote down things such as manners. “Are we going to teach our children to be polite?” That was a challenge for some of us. They made a goal about who was going to serve a mission. They certainly wanted their sons to serve missions and their daughters to serve missions if they had a desire. They made goals about education, university education, and so on. But Dad said, “Well, I’m not going to pay for it.” So Mother said, “Okay, then we’ll teach them to work.” So they wrote “work” after that.

And they began to develop the culture of their family, which was a Latter-day Saint culture.They were preparing their family to make the covenants and receive the ordinances they needed to prepare them for eternal life, and they knew that there were things their family had to do every day. They started out with family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, and preparing children. I am so grateful for parents who were intentional about preparing a family.They created a personalized family plan for our family."

I know that if we determine to create a family that is run very intentionally, just as Sister Beck's parents, we will be blessed.  We will be blessed to have a more unified family.  We will be blessed to have a more righteous family.  We will be blessed to be closer to the Lord.  We will prepare our families for eternal life by equipping our families with floaties everyday.

Are You In There?

Are you in there? Or are you in your own world? Are you focused on the things that you want to do or feel like you should do or do you put YOUR things aside and take interest in YOUR CHILDREN'S wants and needs on a consistent basis? I know I too often am thinking of the next thing I need or want to do while in the midst of "giving my children attention." I need to work on giving them my full and undivided attention and simply forget about my agenda or my list and think about what is important on theirs. I needed this wake up call.

Elder Perry said, "Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world."
-"Mothers Teaching Children in the Home," Ensign, May 2010, 30

How do you make sure you spend the time and are "in there" for your children? How do you balance your agenda with the things that are REALLY important?

Is Your Family Floating?

Paddle, paddle, kick, kick, sink, sink, HELP!!!. Learning to swim can be tough. Do your kids know how to swim? Most of us can answer yes to this question (unless your children are too young). Did they take a class or did you teach them? Either way they had to learn certain techniques somehow to keep their head above water. But even when they finally can venture out and do a little paddling and kicking solo we like to send them on their way with some added protection - wonderful cute little floaties. Not to mention we don't mind when there is a pair of eyes perched up above watching just in case their life guard expertise is in need.

Recently I was talking with a mom who has a struggling teen and her words struck me, "I'm just holding my breath and hoping that everything turns out okay."

Because this post was already in the works I immediately pictured her holding her breath under water trying to keep her son afloat and I realized that they were taking quite a risk. She can only hold her breath for so long and he doesn't have any floaties.

Have you given your kids oodles of floaties...

...spiritual floaties?

They need them. And maybe we as parents should grasp the paranoia of this Dad and plaster our kids with their protective floaties even though our children at times may roll their eyes at us. We can't afford to have their heads sink below the water because they can only hold their breath for so long and eventually will gasp in some of the worldly waters.


But why do some of us not give our kids the floaties and if we did initially why don’t we continually pump them up?

The scriptures give us three reasons:

1. We are at “ease in Zion” and think “All is well” (2 Nephi 28:24-25). We think things like, “We are doing just fine. We go to church. We’ve got the basic techniques down.”

2. We are confused by our worldly wisdom. How will doing the small and simple things even make a difference or make great things come to pass (Alma 37:6-7)? We think things like, “It won’t make a difference if we miss FHE this week or don’t hold family scripture study. Floaties are so small they barely do anything.”

3. We are simply slothful (lazy) or forgetful (Alma 37-41-42). We think things like, “I don’t want to get the kids up for scripture study. Let’s just watch TV instead of FHE. We forgot family prayer AGAIN. Where did I put those “floaties”? I don’t feel like putting them on right now.”

When we choose not to pump up or use our floaties our children begin to sink and we do not progress in our journey. Our families experience afflictions (Alma 37:42) because of our contentment, or our worldly wisdom, or our laziness.

But if we realize the risks in not putting the floaties on and listen to the counsel we’ve been given we can prepare our families so that our heads will not sink even remotely close to the worldly waters.

In General Conference Elder Andersen said, “In our world today, each child, each young man and young woman needs his or her own conversion to the truth. Each needs his or her own light, his or her own “steadfast and immovable” faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, independent of parents, youth leaders, and supportive friends.

Like Elder Andersen said, our children need to have their own foundation, their own testimonies, their own techniques but as they learn they will also need protective floaties and they will continually need air pumped into them to keep their heads high above the worldly waters that may drown them spiritually. They will need the extra protection that comes from doing the Small and Simple things. Because by doing small and simple things great things are brought to pass (Alma 37:6-7).

Here are four small and simple floaties that will buoy our families high above the potential drowning effects of worldly waters (and that promised buoyancy is indeed a great thing that will come to pass):

Family Prayer - President Gordon B. Hinckley: “I submit that a return to the old pattern of prayer, family prayer in the homes of the people, is one of the basic medications that would check the dread disease that is eroding the character of our society. We could not expect a miracle in a day, but in a generation we would have a miracle” (Ensign, Feb 1991, 2).

Scripture Study - President Ezra Taft Benson: “The Book of Mormon will change your life. It will fortify you against the evils of our day. It will bring spirituality into your life that no other book will. It will be the most important book you will read in preparation for a mission and for life. A young [person] who knows and loves the Book of Mormon, who has read it several times, who has an abiding testimony of its truthfulness, and who applies its teachings will be able to stand against the wiles of the devil and will be a mighty tool in the hands of the Lord” (Ensign, May 1986, 43).

Family Home Evening - President James E. Faust:“’Regular participation in family home evening will develop increased personal worth, family unity, love for our fellow men, and trust in our Father in heaven. It is our promise that great blessings will come to all who conscientiously plan and hold weekly family home evenings.’ This is as true today as it was almost 30 years ago. If we go forward with our family home evenings, our homes will be enriched, our wards and branches will grow and prosper, our lives will be purified, and the gates of hell will not prevail against us” (Ensign, Jun ‘03, 2–6).

Temple Attendance - President Boyd K. Packer: "No work is more of a protection to this church than temple work and the genealogical research which supports it. No work is more spiritually refining. No work we do gives us more power. No work requires a higher standard of righteousness. Our labors in the temple cover us with a shield and a protection, both individually and as a people” (The Holy Temple, 265).

Let us recognize the need for our children to have their own techniques, their own testimonies, but also let us recognize that to keep their testimonies strong and to protect them from the raging waters of the world we must give them spiritual floaties and continually pump them up. We must strive to do the “small and simple” things and if we do we are promised great things.

Beauty and Fulfillment Amidst Warm-ups and Accidents

A few of our recent days went a little something like this:

Day 1

3:30 Accident

3:40 Accident

3:50 Accident

4:50 Accident

6:00 In the Potty

7:00 Accident

Day 2

11:50 In the Potty

1:00 Accident

3:00 Accident

4:15 In the Potty

5:40 In the Potty

7:00 Accident**

And all along this fun clean-up fest of joy our other little one would take a short nap here and another short nap there and in between, grumpiness--cranky, ornery, grumpiness. Lets just say on a normal day I would have curled up, jumped right on in, and joined her, but not this day. On this day I was taught.

After dinner with dishes still undone and a once again grumpy baby I turned the radio and started to dance with her. She began to smile and then her eyes began to roll. She was falling asleep for the fifteenth time that day but I just kept swaying and moving to the music. We ended up in the living room just the two of us. As I rocked and swayed I caught a glimpse of myself in a fuzzy reflection in our tv. Messy pony tail. Warm-ups. T-shirt. And a Baby in my arms. I felt beautiful. I felt fulfilled. Really? Looking like this? On a day of cleaning up puddle after puddle? Yes, even on this day I felt those things very strongly. I was being taught and bouyed up.

In the background I caught a glimpse of the Proclamation hanging on our wall and on top of our tv I noticed the picture of the temple. I felt blessed.

Some might say that "I am just a Mom" and that my life is "mundane" and "ordinary" and sometimes I can feel that way but on this day I found my role "spectucular" and important:

“Occasionally some individuals let the seeming ordinariness of life dampen their spirits. Though actually coping and growing, others lack the quiet, inner-soul satisfaction that can steady them, and are experiencing instead, a lingering sense that there is something more important they should be doing . . .as if what is quietly achieved in righteous individual living or in parenthood are not sufficiently spectacular"(Elder Neal A. Maxwell).

Motherhood should be sufficiently spectacular even in warm-ups, cleaning up puddles.

**Days since are getting much better. More "In the Potty" rather than "Accidents." Yea, Progress!

WOWW: A Parent's Example

The prophet Brigham Young said: “We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate.”

On Sunday during one of the talks a sister shared a quote that stuck out to me. I don't recall exactly how it went or what the stat was but here is the idea: A lot of the time (a percent was given) when we get after our children we are disciplining them for something that they have seen us do.

The week prior to this I had a random conversation with a lady working at the cash register at Wal-mart about this very topic. I am not even sure how it came up. She told me about how she has a pet bird that loves to be squirted with a water bottle so one day when her granddaughter was over she let her try it. She loved it. Later she heard her son say, "who taught her how to work a spray bottle." The grandmother confessed. The reason for the questioning: the little girl got a hold of some Windex and now knew how to work it. Ooops!

On another occasion the granddaughter said to her, "Shut up, Grandma." She got after her and wondered where she got it from. Just a few minutes later her dog started barking and she yelled, "Shut-up, Spot!" (can't remember the real name) We truly do teach our children or other's children when we don't even realize it.

Wow! Wake-up call! I am recognizing even the smallest things that transfer over to my son. Sometimes the things that I do are not bad or wrong but when imitated by a toddler they are not the best. Example: I wiggle my little girls hands to help her dance to music so of course my son wants to do this but I get after him for being to rough. Now looking at it boy does it seem so unfair that he is getting in trouble. Was that really his fault...No! he watched Mommy do it.

Let us be good examples to our children. Let us think before we act. Let us be examples in word and deed. Let us be able to say, "Do as I say and do" and not "Do as I say not as I do". Let us think before we discipline our children, they might just be doing something just like Mom or Dad, maybe we are the ones who need a little correcting. Just a thought.

The Good Men in Our Lives

President Hinckley said, “How much more beautiful would be the world and the society in which we live if every father looked upon his children as the most precious of his assets, if he led them by the power of his example in kindness and love, and if in times of stress he blessed them by the authority of the holy priesthood...”

I have been blessed to be surrounded by these types of men, by these types of Fathers. My Dad and my husband are both incredible men. They are great examples. They honor their priesthood. They love their children.

I was reminded today that we all to often pull men down or don't see them as the wonderful people they are. This happened as I read a post that stated, "Just like Satan wants men to see all women in the wrong way, he also wants us women to see men as something less than they were meant to be.”

But isn't that statement so true? I think that Satan does get us in that way. He makes us forget who these men are. Don't we forget all to often the sacrifices they make and the many roles they fulfill so well? The men in our lives do so much. They work so hard. They balance countless duties. They lead and guide our families along. They are amazing.

Let us remember how great the men in our lives truly are. Let us express to them tomorrow and everyday how much we love and appreciate them.

I loved both of these videos put out on Mormon Messages. They are both great reminders of the good men that surround us:

A Father Indeed


Let Us Be Men


Happy Father's Day!!!

Children Are Not Timeless

What a great lesson my stake was taught in Stake Conference. I don't even really know how to put into words the feeling I felt in my heart and the desire I had to be a better mother.

One of the many thoughts that I had while listening to the talk was that "Children are not timeless." With my love of definitions I have pulled two definitions of the word timeless to explain these beginning thoughts:

1 - Children are not "unaffected by time"

One of the many things emphasized was that of spending time with our children. One line that so profoundly hit me was this (in my words), "Many of us spend the beginning years of our children's lives ignoring them. It is no surprise that when they become teenagers that they return the favor and begin ignoring us." We all chuckled, but isn't it so true?

Throughout this talk many of the early LDS commericials were shown. Doesn't this first video perfectly show the affect that time and attention truly have on our children?:

For now just watch the first video (Sorry, I couldn't find the commercials by themselves).



2 - Children are not "ageless or unchanging"

The idea that our two year old will only be two for so long was a reminder that needed to heard. Our children are not ageless. They are two once and they are fifteen once. I know that I often look forward to the next stage or phase when I should be enjoying the here and now.

Another idea mentioned was that our children are not unchanging; they are always changing. And I loved this idea: A 15 or 16 year old girl may be moody and it may be just a part of that age or stage and we shouldn't make a big deal out of it. Or our 2 year old may throw tantrums and it is just a part of that stage and we shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Each age and stage brings something new and often we make it into something bigger than it is. Children are not ageless or unchanging. We need to let our children be in each stage and make changes and embrace it rather than try to hurry through it. I loved that.

Our Words

Now with all of that said, oh what a powerful message he gave of the importance of our words. He talked of the importance of our words all together but also of how respond to each child depending on their age or stage.

For example, your toddler tries to get himself his own bowl of cereal and dumps the whole box all over the table. How do you respond? Quickly. Harshly. Unkindly. Or do you think before you act or speak and try to understand what your toddler might have been thinking, "Mom, I was just trying to get breakfast all by myself. I was hungry and you were busy so I thought I'd try and then." This was such an "aha" moment for me. We need to notice intentions. We need to notice each individual and their age or stage. We need to guard our words.

Once again he played this great commercial for us which shows the great effect our words have on our children.

- Scroll forward in the video and watch from 3:53 to 4:56.



After watching that first video now watch the great reponse this mother has to her son because she thinks first of his age or stage and what is real intentions were. I am sure we all could learn from this.

- Now go back up to the video screen and scroll to the time - 5:30 and watch until 6:30

I don't think I did this talk justice but I hope that you even partially sensed the important nature and powerful message that this talk emitted. It was perspective changing.

I know that our roles as parents are eternal and divine in nature. I know that our children are Children of God. I love my little boy and I already love my little one on the way. They are precious, innocent, and Christ-like. But I sometimes need to be reminded of this. I think we all need to remind ourselves and remind ourselves often.

We indeed can learn from our children as we strive to be more like them. Just as Mosiah 3:19 says, "become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

Let us remember the importance of time. Let us remember the importance of our words. Let us remember that we have much to learn from our children. Let us remember that our children are Children of God.