Wishing a Happy (Not Guilty) Mother's Day to You!

You feel like you are the only one who is snapping at your kids and the only one with goldfish crackers smashed into your carpet. You feel like you are the only one with kids who don’t listen or who seem to be bickering non-stop and the only one who forgot about a meeting that you should’ve been at or something for your kid’s school project. Sometimes you feel like a lousy Mom and everyone else has it all together. You’re the one with a kid screaming as your dragging them out of the store. You’re the one who always has more laundry in the basket, whether clean or dirty, than you do in the dresser drawers. You’re the one with a to-do list the size of Texas and only a few things crossed off. Sometimes you feel alone and cumbered with the so many roles you carry and sometimes downright stressed, overwhelmed, and frankly not like the Mom you thought you’d be. You may feel that way at times. I know I do. I have felt like the only one and yet time and time again I am reminded that I am not. Maybe all of the descriptions above don’t fit you to a tee but you could take away a few and add a few others and still another slew of women would join you in the battle.

 I recently had a conversation with a good friend and neighbor about how we often forget that others are real and we are determined that they have it all together. She said that she would think that our home was pristine. Well, she was wrong. :) As we type, behind me sits a room waiting for me or someone to come a long and bring it back into order and a similar scenario rings true for almost every room in the house. On another occasion I discovered that someone thought that I listened to Church music and only church music every day of the week. When they found out I rocked out to the radio while doing dishes they were surprised. I too was surprised at how I am perceived. Church music every day would be great but that is not the real me. We like dance parties at our house. If we think we know the kind of Mom that lies behind the doors of each and every home, we are mistaken. We are all real and we are all trying but none of us is the perfect wife, or mother, or woman.

Today, I had the opportunity to sit in Relief Society and listen to a lovely lesson. I am in primary and it was nice to have a spirit-filled adult driven lesson (I do love primary but it was nice today:). I ended up making a comment about how today, Mother’s Day, can be a day full of guilt and we can be too hard on ourselves. I talked about how we are not the only one and we need to recognize that everyone else is real, we are all human, and no one has everything all together and perfectly in order. We are all trying and we all fall short sometimes. I shared portions of the conversation that my friend and I had had. As I expounded on this idea I felt how much it resonated with so many other sisters in the room. There were tears and there was no question that many had felt the way I described. We need to be real with ourselves. We need to realize that we are doing just fine. And that so-and-so down the street is just as real as you and sometimes they feel lousy and frustrated and completely behind and rundown just like you do.

 Elder Jeffrey R. Holland ( “Because She Is a Mother”) gave this encouragement, “Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.”

All we need to do is make an honest effort. Sometimes I think that things are too hard to get done with 3 demanding little ones but I don’t give it my best effort and some things fall short. In saying that we are all real and we all struggle I am not saying we should justify our behavior as mothers or let things slide that really matter because so-and-so struggles with that too. We do need to try our best. We shouldn’t join in the comparing that sometimes goes on among women but we can recognize that no one is perfect and not beat ourselves up over our imperfectness.

 President Gordon B. Hinckley continually counseled, “Do your best.” And then he added: “But I want to emphasize that it be the very best. We are too prone to be satisfied with mediocre performance. We are capable of doing so much better” (“Standing Strong and Immovable,” World Leadership Training Meeting, 10 January 2004 [Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 2004], 21).

So on this Mother’s Day, recognize the good that you do. Recognize the good that others do. Recognize that you’re not perfect and that is okay, just try your very best and you will be “made more than you are and better than you have ever been”.

This is just as much counsel to me as it is to anyone else. My hope this week as I am down on my knees picking up the goldfish smashed into the carpet, and trying to hold my tongue when I feel close to snapping, and dragging my 3 year old out of the store screaming, and trying to make our dressers fuller than our baskets, that I can remember that I may not be perfect but if I am trying my very best that angels will be watching over me and my little ones. I hope they feel invited because I need them and so does so-and-so down the street. Happy Mother’s Day!

To every woman...

...for every woman is a Mother.

Thank you to all of the wonderful women in my life!

Happy Mother's Day!

Are You In There?

Are you in there? Or are you in your own world? Are you focused on the things that you want to do or feel like you should do or do you put YOUR things aside and take interest in YOUR CHILDREN'S wants and needs on a consistent basis? I know I too often am thinking of the next thing I need or want to do while in the midst of "giving my children attention." I need to work on giving them my full and undivided attention and simply forget about my agenda or my list and think about what is important on theirs. I needed this wake up call.

Elder Perry said, "Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time. They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistent, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustaining forces for good in the world."
-"Mothers Teaching Children in the Home," Ensign, May 2010, 30

How do you make sure you spend the time and are "in there" for your children? How do you balance your agenda with the things that are REALLY important?

Beauty and Fulfillment Amidst Warm-ups and Accidents

A few of our recent days went a little something like this:

Day 1

3:30 Accident

3:40 Accident

3:50 Accident

4:50 Accident

6:00 In the Potty

7:00 Accident

Day 2

11:50 In the Potty

1:00 Accident

3:00 Accident

4:15 In the Potty

5:40 In the Potty

7:00 Accident**

And all along this fun clean-up fest of joy our other little one would take a short nap here and another short nap there and in between, grumpiness--cranky, ornery, grumpiness. Lets just say on a normal day I would have curled up, jumped right on in, and joined her, but not this day. On this day I was taught.

After dinner with dishes still undone and a once again grumpy baby I turned the radio and started to dance with her. She began to smile and then her eyes began to roll. She was falling asleep for the fifteenth time that day but I just kept swaying and moving to the music. We ended up in the living room just the two of us. As I rocked and swayed I caught a glimpse of myself in a fuzzy reflection in our tv. Messy pony tail. Warm-ups. T-shirt. And a Baby in my arms. I felt beautiful. I felt fulfilled. Really? Looking like this? On a day of cleaning up puddle after puddle? Yes, even on this day I felt those things very strongly. I was being taught and bouyed up.

In the background I caught a glimpse of the Proclamation hanging on our wall and on top of our tv I noticed the picture of the temple. I felt blessed.

Some might say that "I am just a Mom" and that my life is "mundane" and "ordinary" and sometimes I can feel that way but on this day I found my role "spectucular" and important:

“Occasionally some individuals let the seeming ordinariness of life dampen their spirits. Though actually coping and growing, others lack the quiet, inner-soul satisfaction that can steady them, and are experiencing instead, a lingering sense that there is something more important they should be doing . . .as if what is quietly achieved in righteous individual living or in parenthood are not sufficiently spectacular"(Elder Neal A. Maxwell).

Motherhood should be sufficiently spectacular even in warm-ups, cleaning up puddles.

**Days since are getting much better. More "In the Potty" rather than "Accidents." Yea, Progress!

Self-Medicating...

I ran, I dove, I smacked into the accordian wall on several occasions, I slide on the floor and gave my back a bump on the stage, and then it might seem that I scooted home quickly to head straight to the cupboard for a "dose of relief" but it wasn't that kind of self-medicating. Oh, it was a dose just right, so right that I realized that I need to "self-medicate" much more often. It was just what I needed.

It was a stake women's basketball game. A cure really. Now you might be thinking, what? A stake basketball game, self-medicating? Hmmm, that's interesting.

So let me explain - I played and I played hard, not the kind of hard I played in high school but the kind of hard that a Mommy who needs to just get the "Mommy Wiggles" out does. And it felt good. I came home tired but rejuvenated. And then the late night wakings of a Mommy with a new little one began and as I sat there nursing at two a.m., half asleep, the thought popped into my mind that that night's game was self-medicating. Weird, I know, but that was my thought.

So the following day I looked up this definition:

Self-medicating is the use of a drug with therapeutic intent but without professional advice or prescription.

And now I have realized that I really can't call what happened that night self-medicating although it did act as a drug in that some Mommy symptoms felt relieved and non-existent for a time and it did feel quite therapeutic however it had been prescribed by a professional indeed, only I had forgotten to refill my prescription. So you see, after this self-medicating event and a week or so later THIS event, I've been reminded that unlike many prescriptions this type requires refill after refill to keep symptoms in check.

And the prescription is written by this wonderful professional:

Elder Ballard

First we must accept the prescription:
"Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse (so ladies no real self-medicating :), mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it."

And then here is where the role of your "pharmasist husband" comes in:

"Give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!"

So when you are feeling a funk coming on or well before then you may just want to call-in a prescription to your husband at work or hand him a copy of this quote when he gets home and head out the door or lock yourself in your bedroom or whatever your choice of "medicating" might be. For me, this time, it was stake basketball but maybe next time I'll lock myself in my room with a good book.

It is high time I follow the prescription (counsel) of a professional and fill up my well on occasion. So maybe today (Valentine's Day) I'll be asking my honey for a day-away or maybe just an hour. I have a feeling that sometime soon I may be in need of a "dose".

A Must Read Post For All Mothers This Christmas Season

Christmas, Mary, and Motherhood by Stephanie at Diapers and Divinity. It was just what I needed to hear tonight as a stressed Mother...stressed with young children and stressed with Christmas happenings. The post was written so perfectly with words shared by both Elder Holland and Stephanie. It is a must read so head on over.

The Women in Our Lives

Happy Mother's Day

Motherhood is Near to Divinity

"Many years ago the First Presidency issued a statement that has had a profound and lasting influence upon me. “Motherhood,” they wrote, “is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.” (Next to the Angels, Elder Russell M. Nelson, Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles)

With Mother's Day approaching I have been thinking of my amazing Mother. My Mom is indeed next to the angels. She is an angel. She is so incredibly selfless. She is so loving. She is so wise. She is so understanding. Her life has been solely dedicated to her family and to the Lord. She gives her all in both of these regards. I have never known her to give less than 100%. She is a great example to me of what a women and mother should be. I love her.

Along with thinking of my Mother I have been thinking of my role as a mother. I have a wonderful two year old boy and I have another equally as wonderful little one growing inside me. I am so blessed.

This last Sunday I was sick and had to stay home from church. I watched two hours of General Conference reruns none of which were about motherhood or womanhood but for some reason I was reminded so strongly of how blessed I am to be a mother and wife. As I rested on the couch I noticed the mess on the floor and rather than give me stress it brought me great joy. There were a few graham crackers broken up on the living room floor along with my little boys pajamas squished perfectly how they were when he stepped out of them. Do I realize the responsibility I have to raise the little boy that slept in those pajamas last night and who munched on a little bit of cracker and left it on the floor for later? Do I get it? Well in that moment I did. I got it. I got how important my role is. I forgot all of the tantrums and the spilled glasses of water. I realized that my role is divine, that it is next to divinity. I realized that God is entrusting me with these special children, His children, Children of God.

Now that day I got it and right now again (in tears), I think I am grasping it, but there will still be those days and those moments of spilled milk and those days and those moments of crying spells and I hope that I can always remember deep down in side that my role is divine and my children are my greatest blessing.

Let us take these words from President Hinckley and always remember our divine responsibility and our greatest blessing:

"Let every mother realize that she has no greater blessing than the children which have come to her as a gift from the Almighty; that she has no greater mission than to rear them in light and truth, and understanding and love; that she will have no greater happiness than to see them grow into young men and women who respect principles of virtue, who walk free from the stain of immorality and from the shame of delinquency. . . . I remind mothers everywhere of the sanctity of your calling. No other can adequately take your place. No responsibility is greater, no obligation more binding than that you rear in love and peace and integrity those whom you have brought into the world."

I hope we all can have a Happy Mother's Day as we remember our wonderful Mothers and as we remember the blessing it is to be mothers. I hope we will also remember on this day that we do not need to be perfect as long as we remember that our children are Children of God.

Children Are Not Timeless

What a great lesson my stake was taught in Stake Conference. I don't even really know how to put into words the feeling I felt in my heart and the desire I had to be a better mother.

One of the many thoughts that I had while listening to the talk was that "Children are not timeless." With my love of definitions I have pulled two definitions of the word timeless to explain these beginning thoughts:

1 - Children are not "unaffected by time"

One of the many things emphasized was that of spending time with our children. One line that so profoundly hit me was this (in my words), "Many of us spend the beginning years of our children's lives ignoring them. It is no surprise that when they become teenagers that they return the favor and begin ignoring us." We all chuckled, but isn't it so true?

Throughout this talk many of the early LDS commericials were shown. Doesn't this first video perfectly show the affect that time and attention truly have on our children?:

For now just watch the first video (Sorry, I couldn't find the commercials by themselves).



2 - Children are not "ageless or unchanging"

The idea that our two year old will only be two for so long was a reminder that needed to heard. Our children are not ageless. They are two once and they are fifteen once. I know that I often look forward to the next stage or phase when I should be enjoying the here and now.

Another idea mentioned was that our children are not unchanging; they are always changing. And I loved this idea: A 15 or 16 year old girl may be moody and it may be just a part of that age or stage and we shouldn't make a big deal out of it. Or our 2 year old may throw tantrums and it is just a part of that stage and we shouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Each age and stage brings something new and often we make it into something bigger than it is. Children are not ageless or unchanging. We need to let our children be in each stage and make changes and embrace it rather than try to hurry through it. I loved that.

Our Words

Now with all of that said, oh what a powerful message he gave of the importance of our words. He talked of the importance of our words all together but also of how respond to each child depending on their age or stage.

For example, your toddler tries to get himself his own bowl of cereal and dumps the whole box all over the table. How do you respond? Quickly. Harshly. Unkindly. Or do you think before you act or speak and try to understand what your toddler might have been thinking, "Mom, I was just trying to get breakfast all by myself. I was hungry and you were busy so I thought I'd try and then." This was such an "aha" moment for me. We need to notice intentions. We need to notice each individual and their age or stage. We need to guard our words.

Once again he played this great commercial for us which shows the great effect our words have on our children.

- Scroll forward in the video and watch from 3:53 to 4:56.



After watching that first video now watch the great reponse this mother has to her son because she thinks first of his age or stage and what is real intentions were. I am sure we all could learn from this.

- Now go back up to the video screen and scroll to the time - 5:30 and watch until 6:30

I don't think I did this talk justice but I hope that you even partially sensed the important nature and powerful message that this talk emitted. It was perspective changing.

I know that our roles as parents are eternal and divine in nature. I know that our children are Children of God. I love my little boy and I already love my little one on the way. They are precious, innocent, and Christ-like. But I sometimes need to be reminded of this. I think we all need to remind ourselves and remind ourselves often.

We indeed can learn from our children as we strive to be more like them. Just as Mosiah 3:19 says, "become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

Let us remember the importance of time. Let us remember the importance of our words. Let us remember that we have much to learn from our children. Let us remember that our children are Children of God.

Understanding the Divine Roles of Women

My last two posts have been about womanhood and motherhood and the trend continues. I've decided that each month I will write a post about the Visiting Teaching message and this month it just so happens to be about the divine roles of woman.


President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985):
“To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times” (“Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” Ensign, Nov. 1978, 103).

Our calling as women and mothers is a noble one. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of that while in the midst of diapers, or dishes, or dating, or college, or work, or whatever our many roles entail. It is easy to forget that our influence and strength are seen and followed. But we are looked up to and watched. We are examples, good or bad.

The world is not in a state of tranquility but rather in many instances it is in a state of chaos. We are constantly bombarded by the views of the world. We are taught to seek out unnecessary worldly possessions. We are taught that we must look just so. We are taught that our role of being a mother is insignificant and unfulfilling. But if we come to understand our divine role as women all of these wordly views will fall away and our influence and strength will reach many.

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles:

“… Although there is simply not a more significant contribution you can make to society, to the Church, or to the eternal destiny of our Father’s children than what you will do as a mother or father, motherhood and fatherhood are not the only measures of goodness or of one’s acceptance before the Lord. …

Every sister in this Church who has made covenants with the Lord has a divine mandate to help save souls, to lead the women of the world, to strengthen the homes of Zion, and to build the kingdom of God” (“Women of Righteousness,” Liahona, Dec. 2002, 36, 39; Ensign, Apr. 2002, 68, 70).

We all are needed. We all are important. We all have different talents. We all are in different circumstances and stages in our lives. Some of us are mothers and some are not. Some of us are married and some are single. Some of us are old and some young. Some stay home and some need to work. Some of us are converts and some have been members all of our lives. Some of us have met many physical trials and some have met more mental or emotional trials. It does not matter which of these characteristics we each hold. The divine roles of women are many and must be filled by each of us from all walks of life. As Elder Ballard suggested our roles do not stop at the walls of our homes, although there they are most significant. Our roles can and should expand far beyond the walls of our homes to lift and lead the women of the world and to build up and spread the kingdom of God.

All of us as women are divine. We all have a noble calling. We all have a great role - EVERY sister in this Church has a divine calling to help others, to lead others, to strengthen others, and to build others whether it be in our own homes, in our schools, in our communities, in our wards, at our work-places, or in the homes of those we visit teach. We can influence and strengthen others. We all have something to offer. We all hold the noble and divine calling of Womanhood.

Let us strive for a greater understanding of the divine roles that we hold as women. Let us open our eyes to the impact and influence we can have in our homes and in the world. Let us remember that we are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.

Women of God

After my last post with the silly songs about motherhood I thought I would follow up with this amazing quote about womanhood by Margaret D. Nadauld a former General Young Women President of the church.

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity" ("The Joy of Womanhood," Ensign, Nov. 2000, 15).

I first read this quote in a recent Visiting Teaching message but was reminded of it on another blog. What a great list of characteristics for all of us women to be working on.

Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while now know that I have a love for definitions. So I am going to plaster a few here in the context of this quote:

Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough or hardened; we need women who are tender or easily moved to compassion and loving. There are enough women who are coarse or harsh; we need women who are kind, considerate, and gentle. There are enough women who are rude or impolite; we need women who are refined or pure. We have enough women of fame and fortune or great wealth; we need more women of faith, confidence, and belief in God. We have enough greed or excessive desire for wealth and possessions; we need more goodness or moral excellence. We have enough vanity or pride of self; we need more virtue or chastity and righteousness. We have enough popularity or worldly approval; we need more purity or innocence and cleanliness.

How do you keep in perspective our divine role as woman? What have you done to avoid falling into the trap of becoming a woman of the world? What can we do to develop and strengthen these attributes of women of God and become more Christ-like?

Songs of Motherhood

So I received links to both of these videos from a few friends of mine and decided to post them here. I think all of us who are mothers can definitely relate and get a good chuckle out of this.

I watched these videos yesterday morning. Shortly after watching them I started my work out in my pajamas, a work out consisting of jogging/dancing with my little boy (it is the only way it gets done). Then mid work-out and still jogging I poured some milk into a sippy cup and trying to speed the process up I held the refrigerator door open with my foot and slid the milk in and handed the cup to my little boy. Then continuing on doing a punch here and a jumping jack there I eventually ended up on the floor doing leg raises all the while flipping over the letters that belonged to a puzzle my little boy was working on. While in the middle of doing all of this the songs popped back into my head and I chuckled - Oh the multi-tasking of a mother...do we really even need to work out? Sometimes I don't think so.

Hope you enjoy these funny and relatable songs by Hillary Weeks:

Ten Ways to Spend Time With Your Children

I just came across this list of 10 ways to spend time with your children and thought it was wonderful. I have really been enjoying spending time with my little boy lately. I have always enjoyed it but recently I have been noticing the wonderful example that my little boy is, how much I can learn from him, and how much fun it is being a mom.

Here are a few of my recent fun, fulfilling, and wonderful Mommy Moments -

So one day just before lunch my little boy and I came across President Monson speaking on KBYU. He loves and knows all of the Apostles and Prophets so he got excited. We had it on for a minute or two and then I turned it off so we could have lunch. My little boy started to follow me into the kitchen and then turned around and I didn't think a thing of it. I started to get lunch ready and then decided to check on Luke and this was what I found. He had turned the TV back on and was sitting on the couch watching our Prophet, President Monson speak. It was so cute. What a good example my one year old is.

Our Fun Experience with Prayer - During the last few months we have been working on teaching our little boy how to pray. At first it started out in having him repeat the words we say. Now it has turned into a wonderful list of thanking. I am amazed of the things he thinks to give thanks for...his list of thanks always starts off with toys, colors (this is what he calls crayons and coloring pencils), and paper and then the list varies each time from things like Mommy and Daddy to fans, books, the temple, suckers, car, house, etc. Now even when it is not his turn to pray he will recognize when it is time to give thanks and will start listing off the things he is grateful for. I love to hear the things that he thinks of. He tends to notice the simple things that we tend to forget. He says the best prayers ever. Seeing the fruits that have come from the time spent teaching my son is so fulfilling.

Enjoy this great list of things to do with your children! I know that if we follow his cousel we will grow, our children will grow, and we will have so many great Mommy Moments.

Ten Ways to Spend Time
With Your Children
by President Ezra Taft Benson

BE AT THE CROSSROADS. First, take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going -- when they leave and return from school, when they leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are six or sixteen.

BE A REAL FRIEND. Second, mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children.

READ TO YOUR CHILDREN. Third, mothers, take time to read to your children. Starting from the cradle, read to your sons and daughters.

HAVE WEEKLY HOME EVENINGS. Fifth, take time to have a meaningful weekly home evening.

BE TOGETHER AT MEALTIMES. Sixth, take time to be together at mealtimes as often as possible.

READ SCRIPTURES DAILY. Seventh, take time daily to read the scriptures together as a family.

DO THINGS AS A FAMILY. Eighth, take time to do things as a family. Make family outings and picnics and birthday celebrations and trips special times and memory builders.

TEACH YOUR Children. Ninth, mothers, take time to teach your children. Catch the teaching moments.

Teach children gospel principles. Teach them it pays to be good. Teach them there is no safety in sin. Teach them a love for the gospel of Jesus Christ and a testimony of its divinity.

Teach your sons and daughters modesty, and teach them to respect manhood and womanhood. Teach your children sexual purity, proper dating standards, temple marriage, missionary service, and the importance of accepting and magnifying Church callings.

Teach them a love for work and the value of a good education.

Teach them the importance of the right kind of entertainment, including appropriate movies and videos and music and books and magazines. Discuss the evils of pornography and drugs, and teach them the value of living the clean life.

Yes, mothers, teach your children the gospel in your home, at your own fireside. This is the most effective teaching that your children will ever receive. This is the Lord's way of teaching. The Church cannot teach like you can. The school cannot. The day-care center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain you. Your children will remember your teachings forever, and when they are old, they will not depart from them. They will call you blessed -- their truly angel mother.

Mothers, this kind of heavenly, motherly teaching takes time -- lots of time. It cannot be done effectively part-time. It must be done all the time in order o save and exalt your children. This is your divine calling.

TRULY LOVE YOUR children. Tenth and finally, mothers, take the time to truly love your children.

Mothers Who Know

I was reminded of this great talk recently when there was an article in the Deseret News about it. Still almost a year after this talk was given people are upset by what Sister Beck had to say. I, on the other hand, felt that this talk was uplifting and motivating. I think it gives great encouragement for us all to be better moms.

Julie B. Beck, “Mothers Who Know,” Liahona, Nov 2007, 76–78
There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.

In the Book of Mormon we read about 2,000 exemplary young men who were exceedingly valiant, courageous, and strong. “Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him” (Alma 53:21). These faithful young men paid tribute to their mothers. They said, “Our mothers knew it” (Alma 56:48). I would suspect that the mothers of Captain Moroni, Mosiah, Mormon, and other great leaders also knew.

The responsibility mothers have today has never required more vigilance. More than at any time in the history of the world, we need mothers who know. Children are being born into a world where they “wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places” (Ephesians 6:12).1 However, mothers need not fear. When mothers know who they are and who God is and have made covenants with Him, they will have great power and influence for good on their children.

Mothers Who Know Bear Children
Mothers who know desire to bear children. Whereas in many cultures in the world children are “becoming less valued,”2 in the culture of the gospel we still believe in having children. Prophets, seers, and revelators who were sustained at this conference have declared that “God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”3 President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.”4

Faithful daughters of God desire children. In the scriptures we read of Eve (see Moses 4:26), Sarah (see Genesis 17:16), Rebekah (see Genesis 24:60), and Mary (see 1 Nephi 11:13–20), who were foreordained to be mothers before children were born to them. Some women are not given the responsibility of bearing children in mortality, but just as Hannah of the Old Testament prayed fervently for her child (see 1 Samuel 1:11), the value women place on motherhood in this life and the attributes of motherhood they attain here will rise with them in the Resurrection (see D&C 130:18). Women who desire and work toward that blessing in this life are promised they will receive it for all eternity, and eternity is much, much longer than mortality. There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.

Mothers Who Know Honor Sacred Ordinances and Covenants
Mothers who know honor sacred ordinances and covenants. I have visited sacrament meetings in some of the poorest places on the earth where mothers have dressed with great care in their Sunday best despite walking for miles on dusty streets and using worn-out public transportation. They bring daughters in clean and ironed dresses with hair brushed to perfection; their sons wear white shirts and ties and have missionary haircuts. These mothers know they are going to sacrament meeting, where covenants are renewed. These mothers have made and honor temple covenants. They know that if they are not pointing their children to the temple, they are not pointing them toward desired eternal goals. These mothers have influence and power.

Mothers Who Know Are Nurturers
Mothers who know are nurturers. This is their special assignment and role under the plan of happiness.5 To nurture means to cultivate, care for, and make grow. Therefore, mothers who know create a climate for spiritual and temporal growth in their homes. Another word for nurturing is homemaking. Homemaking includes cooking, washing clothes and dishes, and keeping an orderly home. Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world. Working beside children in homemaking tasks creates opportunities to teach and model qualities children should emulate. Nurturing mothers are knowledgeable, but all the education women attain will avail them nothing if they do not have the skill to make a home that creates a climate for spiritual growth. Growth happens best in a “house of order,” and women should pattern their homes after the Lord’s house (see D&C 109). Nurturing requires organization, patience, love, and work. Helping growth occur through nurturing is truly a powerful and influential role bestowed on women.

Mothers Who Know Are Leaders
Mothers who know are leaders. In equal partnership with their husbands, they lead a great and eternal organization. These mothers plan for the future of their organization. They plan for missions, temple marriages, and education. They plan for prayer, scripture study, and family home evening. Mothers who know build children into future leaders and are the primary examples of what leaders look like. They do not abandon their plan by succumbing to social pressure and worldly models of parenting. These wise mothers who know are selective about their own activities and involvement to conserve their limited strength in order to maximize their influence where it matters most.

Mothers Who Know Are Teachers
Mothers who know are always teachers. Since they are not babysitters, they are never off duty. A well-taught friend told me that he did not learn anything at church that he had not already learned at home. His parents used family scripture study, prayer, family home evening, mealtimes, and other gatherings to teach. Think of the power of our future missionary force if mothers considered their homes as a pre–missionary training center. Then the doctrines of the gospel taught in the MTC would be a review and not a revelation. That is influence; that is power.

Mothers Who Know Do Less
Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power.

Who will prepare this righteous generation of sons and daughters? Latter-day Saint women will do this—women who know and love the Lord and bear testimony of Him, women who are strong and immovable and who do not give up during difficult and discouraging times. We are led by an inspired prophet of God who has called upon the women of the Church to “stand strong and immovable for that which is correct and proper under the plan of the Lord.”6 He has asked us to “begin in [our] own homes”7 to teach children the ways of truth. Latter-day Saint women should be the very best in the world at upholding, nurturing, and protecting families. I have every confidence that our women will do this and will come to be known as mothers who “knew” (Alma 56:48). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.